He awoke with a start, his heart beating adrenaline through his veins. The bed shook and trembled and it took him a few moments to remember where he was. He rolled over to see a shivering form next to him, small whimpers escaping into the silence of the night.
“Sirius” Remus whispered as he tentatively reached out a hand. As his clammy skin touched Sirius, he shouted as if burnt. Sirius sat bolt upright, his eyes wide, bright and very visible even in the thick darkness. Remus sat up too and placed his hands either side of the other man’s face. Sirius flinched. “Shush,” Remus soothed, trying to find Sirius in the lost gaze in his eyes.
“Remus?” Sirius’s voice sounded lost as small as he trembled.
“I’m here” He replied as calmly as he could.
“Oh no, Remus, No!” Sirius sobbed his hands clenching and unclenching in the bedcovers between them. “Please, no!”
“Shush, Sirius, you had a nightmare”
Remus swallowed tightly as the fear and disgust tried to force itself up and out of his mouth. He felt disgusted that he could have left his lover there alone, for all this time. He blinked away the prickling of tears enough to see the slightest outline of Sirius in the darkness. He pulled the other man towards him and held him tight as he sobbed, their bodies shaking as though the sobs tore through them simultaneously.
“You can’t be here” He heard Sirius mutter, over and over.
“I am here love. You’re alright,” Remus tried to sound sure but the cold sensation in his gut told him otherwise.
“You can’t be here!”
“Come on, lie down,” Remus said as he pulled the other man back down into the bed with him.
“What if they come back? No Remus!” Sirius sat bolt upright again.
“Who? What if who come back?” Remus asked feeling his face screw up in confusion.
“The guards,” Sirius shuddered more “You can’t be here!”
Remus let out a sigh of relief as he pulled the man away from him so that he could look him in the eyes.
“Sirius, you’re free, we’re in Grimmauld place, the dementors don’t know that you’re here,”
“Grimmauld…” He tapered off looking around. Remus reached and grabbed his wand
“Lumos” Light filled the darkness casting sinister shadows across the dank walls and murky wallpaper. Remus looked around, pretty sure that the darkness had been better. Sirius looked around, his body still shaking as his head bobbed around taking in the room which was as different from the inside a cell as could be. His wide, haunted eyes turned back to Remus. He closed them and looked down, as he reached out to hold Remus’s arms. He took a deep steadying breath. Lupin watched as the trembling slowed, the greyish tint to his skin returning to a more normal pink.
“Oh Moony,” He said finally as he looked up again, some of the fear gone from his face.
He leant closer pulling Remus forward. Their lips met, Sirius’s hunger, now contagious. This kiss felt different from before as they had managed to shave his drawn features. Lupin could almost forget what year it was as he remembered their first kiss in that darkened common room. His breath caught in his throat as Sirius ran his hands around his neck, foiling any chance of escape. They both fell sideways back into bed, avoiding the cold. They pulled the covered over them without breaking the kiss. The wand falling onto the floor and going out.
“Mmm” someone uttered, and Remus wasn’t sure whether it had been himself or Sirius.
“Closer” Sirius whispered. Remus pulled his body into him as he tightened his legs around the others.
They lay there kissing, a huge wizarding knot of limbs. Sirius face moved to Remus’s neck and this time Remus knew who had made the noise as his eyes rolled back. Thrills of pleasure shocked through his system as they pooled in the pit of his stomach.
“Padfoot” He muttered as a warning “too soon” he whispered, hoping the other man would disagree.
“Never too soon, never enough” came his strangled reply as his teeth pressed into the other man’s flesh, hard enough to leave indents without breaking the surface.
Remus shivered violently as his mind went black, all his senses trained on Sirius. His fingers gripped his hair and scratched at the papery skin. The sensation almost brought him out of the trance but another graze of teeth put him right back under as he felt himself pressed firmly against Sirius.
He slowly became aware of someone begging, strangled whispers into the black as they moved together. White lights played over his vision as Sirius kissed him again. The lights were so bright he was sure he could see Padfoot’s namesake streaking across the sky behind his eyes.
“Closer” Came his lovers hoarse demand. Remus cried out as they clung together, tears pricking his eyes. “So long” Sirius panted “too long” Remus cried again, words beyond him.
“Need you” He whispered back “Now”
“Want you forever” Sirius growled.
They moved and swayed and shook together as they fought the darkness and won, the nightmares forgotten as the past and the present connected again.
“Moony?” Sirius asked as they lay cocooned in their body heat.
“Mmm?” Remus asked sleepily.
“Are we really here?” he asked, his voice small again. “Am I really free?”
Remus felt the tears again as he pulled Sirius closer. “No, I’ve got you and I’m never letting you go” he replied.
“Fair enough” Came Sirius’s reply, the chuckle almost noticeable as they both drifted off to sleep, limbs wounds so impossibly close.